You've might have noticed I've been a bit sick lately - and it has affected my creative output. And you may have noticed I'm busy with my study - and it has affected my creative output. You probably haven't noticed that I'm racked by doubts (because I purposefully try to keep that well hidden) - and it has affected my creative output. I guess I could say that having a job - has affected my creative output. And I could add having a brain (thinking about all this way too much) - has definitely affected my creative output. But, think about it too much, I do. (Truthfully I think these are all excuses.) What do you think?
Well first, if you like, you can have a look at what other people think here in an article on this very subject on Notebookism. (The video is a gem!) This proves what I've known for a long time - that I'm not alone in worrying about what I create. But while I'm mid-worry, it certainly feels like I'm alone. Is it good enough? The idea was so great, can the work do it justice? Where will I start? What will I do to finish it? Hang on, isn't the problem that the idea was crap to start with? And then it begins again.
Eventually I become creatively crippled, unable to do anything at all. Again.
Actually, I'm not that pessimistic. I have experienced it enough to know that if I keep looking I will find the way out. Maybe it will be through one of these books again. Maybe it will be by trawling through thousands of images on Flickr, looking for inspiration. Maybe it will, by some miracle, be spontaneous. But I know I will get there. I am getting there.
But this time, for some reason, the actual meaning of recapturing that child-like approach hit home. Not recapturing someone else's child-likeness! (Duh!) But recapturing my own child-ways of creating. As a child I did like to paint and draw, but what I really loved was making things. If I wanted something and I didn't have it I would make it out of cardboard, paper and wool! Aaah, thinking about those wild and free days of creativity is like drinking from a mountain spring to me.